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We Need to Talk About 'Carnival Row,' Starring Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevingne


Have you ever had so much trouble choosing between the early 2000s Orlando Bloom classics Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean that you wished you could just smoosh them into one eight-episode bingeable series? Well do I have news for you. Amazon’s Carnival Row centers on a forbidden(ish) romance between a swashbuckling human detective and badass refugee fairy in a Victorian(ish) land called Carnival Row, where peace between species is fraying. Still not sold? Well, what if I told you that it stars Katy Perry’s boyfriend Orlando Bloom, Ashley Benson’s girlfriend Cara Delevingne, and me, a very satisfied bisexual?

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Amazon

JK, I’m not in it (but I would very much like to be). Here’s what you need to know before you watch:

It’s on Amazon.

So, you’re gonna need a subscription. That’ll cost you about $12.99 per month, but it’s worth it for the opening scene alone, where Cara—I’m sorry, Vignette Stonemoss—fends off hordes of men with evil demon dogs using only her wits and pretty dragonfly wings.

Oh, and when you’ve finished, there’s Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The Boys, and a bunch of other great shows.

It’s really a murder mystery.

I know I’ve already sold it to you as a love story for the ages, and sure, that’s what we came for, but there’s more to it. In fact, it’s not that different from your fave shows about hunting down serial killers, like Mindhunter or Criminal Minds. Only this time the victims are fae folk who look like this:

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Amazon

And instead of men in boring suits, you’ve got Rycroft Philostrate (Orlando) in a suit and a bowler hat.

Fine, they’re faeries, not fairies.

Honestly, this isn’t something that matters at all, it just bothers me in Amazon’s episode descriptions. Vignette is called a faery, presumably spelled this way because it’s a sub-species of fae, the various mystical creatures of Carnival Row.

Still, it kind of feels like a way of shouting, “no, this show is cool, bruh. It’s about faeries, but not like Tinkerbell fairies, they’re warrior faeries. They’re, like, all badass and stuff!” I like Tinkerbell!

It’s sexy AF.

I’ll just leave this here:

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Amazon

If you stick around, you might see Katy Perry.

Carnival Row has already been renewed for a second season, and it’s going to be hotter than ever. Showrunner Marc Guggenheim told People, “I was talking to Orlando the other day. I’m like, ‘for season two, we gotta get Katy coming by the set.’ It’d be a lot of fun. I actually think Katy would be a great faery.” She’s already been a firework, a tiger, and a flaming hot cheeto! Of course she’d make a great FAIRY.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Watch Now



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